I cant tolerate his/her behaviour!

#seriesofloverelationsships❤️

To those who are in a love relationship, especially those married or living together, tolerance is the word for you today! I mean, the ability to put up with your partner’s undesirable behaviours or minor mistakes is an art/skill that can be learnt and perfected. I agree that there are definitely some behaviours that are detrimental to humanity and therefore cannot be tolerated. However during counselling couples I noted that most arguments which turned into a huge fight usually emanated from failure to tolerate a minor mistake. I also noted that people keep grudges of accumulated minor mistakes waiting to burst one day and when they do, it often lead to days of not talking to each other, physical fights and much more negative behaviours. The phrase “I will not tolerate…….!” was heard often. However, when i asked for examples of behaviours that could not be tolerated, i often wondered if this could not be tolerated for the benefit of the relationship/marriage🤔🤔.

Always remember that your partner is not your brother or sister, you were not raised by the same parents. When growing up we were nurtured in different environments therefore it is given that our partners will present some behaviours that we do not like or find irritating. Come on, lets face it! even with our own brothers or sisters there are some behaviour traits that we really did not like, but we have learnt to put up with them🤷🏾‍♀️. The truth is if we want an existing relationship to be exciting and to last long, we have got to find a way to make it work.

Probably during this COVID 19 pandemic and the lockdown, some have noted more of their partner’s behaviours which they feel cannot be tolerated. Maybe as you are reading this post you are wondering what is it that can be tolerated and what is it that cannot be tolerated. Well, there is no one size fit all when it comes to relationships or marriages but below, i will provide you with a task with some challenging questions to help you get the answer and work something out📝.

What is it that he/she is doing?…….state the behavour

Why does he/she do it?……….do you know why? does he/she do it intentionally? If so, What makes you think its intentional?

How does it affect you or your relationship……..after he/she has done this, what kind of damage does it do to you or your relationship/marriage?

Is there something you can do to make it work………think about something you (not him/her) can do to make it work

Do the above task and drop a comment stating some of the behaviours that you think cannot be tolerated, this will help inform my next post, I will also be giving explanations with practical examples on this topic, drawn from my experience.

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