Culture can be defined as a way of life, including the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular group. Culture is good because it gives us identity, security and feelings of belonging; however, if we are not careful, culture can make us experience frustration in our relationships due to partners presenting undesirable behaviours towards each other in the name of it. In this article, we will learn to be mindful of our culture and not let it affect how we want to experience fulfilling love.
While some people seem to think how we show love is influenced only by our biological drives, culture has a lot to do with it. Culture can affect how people perceive, show and experience emotions, which automatically affects how we show love to each other. Our behaviour can be derived from culture. This is why it is essential to reflect on our culture and relationships. Culture is related to the development of our attitude and therefore affects how we respond to certain things in our relationships. Here is a list of examples of things that could be influenced by culture negatively:
- How you value your patner and your relationship
- Your expectations
- Your self esteem
- Your communication
- Your view of what a relationship should look like
- Your level of tolerance of certain things
- Your ability to emphathise with your patner
- Your sex life
- How you raise your children
Above are just a few examples of things that culture could negatively affect our relationships. Now we need to look at what we can do to avoid this. This does not mean we disregard our culture, but we create new cultural values that give us joy and aid in our relationships. Sometimes we are stuck on following culture even if it doesn’t benefit us. We need to challenge unhelpful cultural practices; otherwise, it will be challenging to find joy. Here are some of the things to consider When challenging cultural influences,
- Understand that culture is evolving – cultural practices changes with time; there is nothing wrong with changing ways of doing things to suit your needs or to do what works in your relationship
- People formed the culture, and they adapted ways of doing things according to what benefited them and what worked for them during that time. You need to ask yourself this question ‘ does this work for me?’
- Remember that you are a great model to your children, and the behaviours you present model the people your children will become. Ask yourself what you want to see in your children when they grow up and start their own families
- Remember prioritising cultural practices on top of your relationship may be interpreted as a failure to value the relationship
- Any couple or family can create their own set of values that works for them and gives them a satisfying life
- Keeping on justifying your wrongdoings with culture is like keeping on presenting selfishness, and soon it will cause relationship breakdown
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Dr Nyanhaz 